


Memory Lane

by 30secondfics



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Amnesia, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 23:30:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16356380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/30secondfics/pseuds/30secondfics
Summary: What if... after the cycling accident, Delia’s mum lets Delia go home with Patsy, in hopes that staying in the city will help her remember the memories she had lost?





	Memory Lane

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello, I know some of you were probably hoping for a Last Tango in Poplar update (and it shall come soon) but I woke up this morning with an idea so wrote this and went with it. 
> 
> Thanks for you patience and happy reading! :)

“The doctor said we should take her back home to Wales...”

Patsy Mount felt her blood suddenly turn cold. She blinked and looked at Missus Busby with a flat expression, hoping she wouldn’t give away the pain of her heart splitting into two. She pictured Delia, miles away in Wales, without a single memory of her or the years they had been together.

“I think she’d be better off staying here in London,” Missus Busby suggested.

“Really?” Patsy felt a bolus of hope fill her veins.

“I can take better care of her in Pembrokeshire… but her life is here, in the city. I think seeing the sites and her friends would do her memory better than spending every waking moment with me and her dad. She’s grown to be a brilliant nurse here in London… and I just want my brilliant girl back.”

“Me too,” Patsy said softly. “I mean, I agree,” she corrected.

“The only trouble is they’re knocking down half the nurses home, and she can’t live there if she’s not working at The London.”

“We were going to rent a dig together,” Patsy confessed. “That was our plan, before…”

“You were?” Missus Busby was taken by surprise. Delia had yet to write about moving into a flat with the lady she helped with the Cubs.

“We had already put in a deposit. That’s where she was biking from, when she was struck by that car…” Patsy shuddered with a hint of anger, “but I’ve had to withdraw our tenancy. We won’t be able to pay the first rent instalment since she’s unable to work—the London won’t give her the rent allowance, if she’s not working.”

“Is there any way you could get it back?” Missus Busby asked hopefully. “Her father and I will pay her share until she can get back on her feet.”

Patsy placed the flowers in her hands down on the chair beside her and quickly went into her purse to search for the contact card. “I’ll call the landlady,” she said with excitement.

000

“This is my room?” Delia asked, stepping into the unfamiliar room.

“This is you and Patsy’s room, cariad.” Delia’s mother walked in behind Delia, carrying a box of her belongings. “Look how clean it is, cariad, Patsy did a good job cleaning it for your arrival.”

“There are only two beds, are you going to sleep on the floor?” Delia asked her mother, or at least, the woman who kept claiming to be her mother.

“No, cariad, your father and I will stay at Auntie Blod’s for a while, until you get settled.”

Delia walked deeper into the room and inspected the ceramic jug of fresh flowers by the window. The emerald petals were beginning to wilt, as if they had been there a few days, but the vessel they were in captivated her interest.

“What’s wrong, cariad?” Missus Busby asked.

“This jug…” Delia glanced at her mother, “I think it’s mine.”

“It is,” Patsy nodded, feeling hopeful that Delia would soon remember her too.

“I like it,” Delia said.

“You always did,” Patsy smiled.

“See...” Missus Busby mirrored the smile on Patsy’s face, “coming back here has been good for her memory already.”

The three women and Mister Busby moved box after box into the room before they began putting their belongings in their rightful places. Delia’s bed was against one wall, and Patsy’s was against the other. They had planned to join the beds in the middle, so they could sleep closer together, but Delia could barely recall her own name, let alone the nature of her relationship with Patsy. For the time being, Patsy was nothing more than a flatmate.

When all of their belongings were unboxed and tidied, they drank lemonade and rewarded their hard work.

“Cheers…” Patsy lifted her glass.

Delia mirrored the motion and then drank a sip. Mister and Missus Busby sat on nearby chairs, and Patsy and Delia sat on their respective beds.

“Do you need help getting cleaned up for the night, carida?” Missus Busby asked.

Delia furrowed her brows and watched the older woman pick out a pair of pyjamas from her dresser.

“You haven’t done it on your own since you left the hospital-”

“I remember how to clean myself,” Delia interrupted and took the pyjamas from her mother’s hands, appearing offended. She couldn’t remember a whole lot, but she certainly wasn’t pleased with being talked down to like a child.

“Alright then,” Missus Busby nodded. “Your dad and I should catch the last bus back to your Auntie Blods. Is there anything else you need, cariad?”

“I don’t think so,” Delia shook her head.

“Good night, then…” Missus Busby and her husband kissed their daughter goodnight and then left the flat to catch their bus.

“She’s a bit overbearing, isn’t she?” Delia said when her parents were gone.

“She’s doing her best,” Patsy defended.

Delia huffed and dangled her legs on the edge of her bed. “So I’m stuck with you...” she eyed the notable redhead.

“I wouldn’t say ‘stuck’...” Patsy said softly. She didn’t want Delia to feel stuck, but rather, in the vicinity of a companion.

“I’m not used to sharing a room.”

“That’s right,” Patsy perked up, grateful to hear another one of Delia’s memories return. “You’ve always had a room of your own, Delia.”

“I hope you don’t snore…” Delia took her pyjamas and shower caddy, and walked off to use the bathroom and get cleaned up for the night.

When Delia was out of earshot, Patsy released a sad sigh. The Delia she was rooming with now was nowhere near as warm as the Delia she fell in love with. But she had hope that one day she would return.

000

Over the next few days, Patsy and Missus Busby developed a routine to help Delia recover. While Patsy was at work, Missus Busby spent the day with her daughter. They took Delia on lots of walks, in short increments, as long as Delia wasn’t too tired. They would take her around the city to see if her surroundings would slowly bring back her memories. And sometimes it did. Delia would slowly remember shops and restaurants, and on one occasion, she even remembered what busses to take to get back home. Missus Busby was impressed and stood by her decision to keep Delia in the city.

Patsy switched her night shifts for Trixie’s day shifts, temporarily, so she could be at home with Delia during the night. Delia still had seizures and the doctors recommended that she didn’t stay at home alone, in case she seized for too long and needed someone to take her to the hospital again.

The first time Delia seized in Patsy’s care, they were working on her fine motor exercises. Delia was able to clean and cook for herself, but she had yet to be able to pick up a pen and write.

“The doctor ordered three sets of warm-ups, Delia...” Patsy lightly scolded. Delia had done one set and was ready to skip the next two so she could jump right into writing drills.

Delia groaned and held the pen in her hand so hard her knuckles were turning white. She had no problem holding her toothbrush, or flipping a frying pan, but her brain had trouble controlling the small muscles in her hand that she needed to write out the alphabet.

“Up and down,” Patsy reminded.

“I know,” Delia snapped harsher than she intended. Re-learning how to use her brain was frustrating enough, and she did not like being talked down to like a child.

Patsy bit her tongue and watched the other woman inch her fingers up and down the length of the pen, as ordered by the doctor. When Delia did this three times, she praised her, “Good job!”

“Not a good job,” Delia huffed. “My bloody hand wouldn’t stop trembling the whole time.”

“You’re getting there,” Patsy encouraged.

Delia ignored the remark and began her writing drills, writing the alphabet across the notepad on her lap. She looked at the chicken scratch and scoffed in disgust. “I don’t remember what my handwriting looked like, but I know it didn’t look like this…”

“You’re retraining your brain, it will take time,” Patsy soothed.

“Everything’s taking its sweet time-” Delia suddenly went silent and stared into the distance. Her body froze and her pen fell onto the floor beneath her bed.

“Delia…” Patsy panicked, briefly, but quickly came to her nursing senses and timed the Petit Mal seizure. Delia was out of it for thirteen seconds, staring blankly and wetting the bed in the process.

When she came to, Patsy helped her change the sheets and get cleaned up. Delia cried from the exhaustion and embarrassment. It broke Patsy’s heart, seeing her lover so broken and defeated, but she kept her composure and constantly reassured Delia that everything was alright. It wasn’t until Delia went to sleep that Patsy let herself break down and cry into her pillow. She cursed herself for giving Delia her bike on that god forsaken day, and she wished it was her who had suffered the accident instead.

000

Over the next few weeks, Patsy delivered babies at work, and took care of her Delia at home. If she was exhausted, she didn’t feel it. A month into Delia’s recovery, the seizures began to diminish. After a routine visit with the specialist at The London, Delia was given the clear to be independent. She no longer needed twenty-four hour supervision, though it was still advised that she continue to do her rehabilitation exercises with Nurse Mount. Missus Busby could return home to Pembrokeshire and Delia was allowed to go on walks on her own while Patsy was at work.

One night, Patsy came home to an empty flat. She waited at the kitchen table for Delia to return, and after an hour, she began to worry that Delia had gotten herself into some sort trouble. So she grabbed her coat and keys and began to wander the streets in search for her. She started looking at Delia’s favourite places: their park bench, the flower shop, The Silver Buckle. Patsy kept walking until she saw the brown beehive and bright blue eyes from an old window. She found Delia, eating alone at their favourite fish and chips joint.

“Delia!” Patsy called out as she approached her.

“Patsy,” Delia smiled at her friend.

“You had me worried sick! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“You don’t need to worry.” Delia reassured, “I know how to get back home.”

Patsy huffed and calmed herself. She reminded herself that Delia was not a child or a prisoner that needed scolding.

“These are very good…” Delia said with her mouth full, “I think I remember eating here before.”

“You ate here often,” Patsy agreed and hopped onto a bar stool beside the hungry woman. “Delia, the next time you feel inclined to go out for supper, would you leave a note on the table? Just so I know where to find you, if I need to.”

“Alright,” Delia agreed and tossed another chip in her mouth.

Patsy smiled. “So, you remember eating here? That’s fantastic.”

“I remember ordering this…” Delia pointed at her food. “Funny, I remember how much it costs too.”

“Do you remember coming here with me?” Patsy asked hopefully.

Delia frowned.

“That’s okay,” Patsy reassured, not wanting to upset Delia by showing her disappointment.

“I’m sorry...” Delia furrowed her brows, “but I know we spent a lot of time together!”

“But you still don’t know who I am…” Patsy lowered her head in sadness. It had been over a month and Delia still thought of her as a flatmate.

“I know you’re Patsy,” Delia reassured. “My dear good friend Patsy.”

Patsy forced her lips to smile. She would rather have Delia as a friend than not have her in her life at all.

“Do you want some?” Delia offered her food to her good friend.

“Sure...” Patsy took a chip from Delia’s newspaper, “bon appétit!”

000

A few nights later, Delia went out alone for another walk. She had gone to the convenience store where she bought herself a packet of cigarettes and fruit drops. When she returned to the room, she opened the door in time to see Patsy changing out of her uniform.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” Delia immediately turned away.

“It’s okay,” Patsy reassured.

Delia shut her eyes tight and clutched the brown paper bag against her chest.

“You can turn around,” Patsy said when she was clothed in her pyjamas.

Delia slowly opened her eyes and walked over to her bed to take a seat.

Patsy sat on her own bed and asked, “So where did your adventures take you today, Deels?”

“The store on Canary Street,” Delia opened the brown paper bag to pulled out a packet of cigarettes and a smaller paper bag of candy.

“Delia… you don’t smoke,” Patsy said with furrowed brows.

“I don’t?” Delia swiped her thumb across the box label. “But I remember buying these…” she glanced up and saw a similar box on Patsy’s dresser, “or maybe I just saw them on your dresser and developed a false memory.”

“No, Delia, you’re right. You used to buy them for me.” Patsy smiled, “It’s not a false memory.”

“Oh,” Delia smiled. “Then I bought them for you…” she reached her hand across the gap between their beds to give the box to Patsy.

“Thank you,” Patsy smiled and went into her night stand to give Delia money, but Delia refused.

They sat in comfortable silence and Delia began to eat her fruit drops, which she also offered to Patsy, who kindly declined them since she had already cleaned her teeth.

“Can I ask you a question?” Delia asked after a handful of fruit drops.

“You can always ask me questions,” Patsy reassured. Anything that would bring back some of Delia’s memories was not a burden.

“Were you picked on, when you were a child?”

“What do you mean?”

“The scars on your backs… they look as if you’ve been pushed into a metal fence.”

“Oh,” Patsy lowered her eyes. Maybe explaining everything to Delia all over again would be harder than she thought.

“I’m sorry,” Delia shook her head. “I forget my manners, that was so rude of me to ask!”

“No, Delia, I’ve told you before… you know about them. They’re from the Japanese internment camp.”

“You were in a prisoner of war camp?” Delia asked with widened eyes.

“I grew up in Singapore with my family until the war tore us apart. They took my mother and sister and I away from my father and we were put in cages… sometimes we were thrown against them too... if we were mouthy. I was young and it broke skin. I’ve had these scars ever since.”

“I’m sorry.” Delia lowered her head and wondered how her roommate could cope with such a tragic memory.

There was more to the story, but Patsy could see that Delia was already upset on her behalf, and she did not want to upset her some more. So she stopped her story short and decided to tell Delia the rest of it on a later day.

000

Three days later, Patsy came home excited because she wanted to tell Delia about the breached baby she had successfully delivered. She always loved telling Delia about her work and the new Delia had grown to love hearing about them too, much like the old Delia.

“Pats!” Delia smiled when her flatmate came home.

“Hi, how was your evening?” Patsy asked with a big smile.

“Lovely,” Delia smiled, “I met a lovely man at the book shop and we had a lovely talk.”

Patsy’s smile faded. “Did you?” she asked softly, her voice cracking.

“He’s asked me to come dancing with him... this Friday night.”

“Oh,” Patsy contained her emotions.

“Do you know how to dance, Patsy?”

Patsy stared at her woman blankly.

“I think I know how to dance but I don’t remember if I dance well or not,” Delia thought out loud and then chuckled.

“You’re a great dancer...” Patsy blurted out, “we used to go out dancing with the Nonnatus girls all the time.”

“Would you show me how to dance again?” Delia asked.

“Sure,” Patsy forced herself to smile.

Delia stood up and set up the record player before opening her arms up for Patsy. Patsy naturally placed a hand on Delia’s waist, and the other in Delia’s hand. Delia followed Patsy’s lead and Patsy counted to four, guiding Delia where to place her feet.

“I think I’m getting the hang of this,” Delia smiled after a few counts.

“I’d hope so, we’ve danced a lot since you were still in training school,” Patsy recalled.

“Well, no wonder we dance so well together!” Delia laughed. She began to gain confidence in her dancing and twirled Patsy around.

“Oh!” Patsy couldn’t help but smile.

“You _are_ a great dancer,” Delia praised.

“I had a great teacher,” Patsy said as they twirled around their room.

“Who?” Delia asked, taking the lead and dancing Patsy across the floor.

“You, you fool,” Patsy laughed and tried her best to catch-up to Delia’s quickening pace.

They pranced around and around the small room, twirling and skipping, until the music died down and they found themselves inches apart, recovering with heavy breaths. Patsy still had Delia in her arms and they were so close together, Delia could truly appreciate Patsy’s facial features

“You’re really pretty, Pats…” Delia breathed out.

“I think you’re really pretty too,” Patsy smiled.

Delia’s eyes locked onto Patsy’s perfectly red lips, and she did what felt natural and leaned in to give Patsy a kiss.

It wasn’t until Patsy’s lips were on hers that Delia gasped and realized what she had done.

“I’m sorry, Pats, that was inappropriate! I’m not… this isn’t… I’m _so_ sorry.”

“I’m not,” Patsy said, daringly.

Delia furrowed her brows and saw the lack of shock in Patsy’s eyes. She realized Patsy had kissed her back with ease, like it was second nature.

“You kissed me back…” Delia said softly.

“I did,” Patsy whispered softly.

“We’ve kissed before...” Delia thought out loud.

“Yes,” Patsy nodded.

“It did feel… natural,” Delia blushed. “Have we kissed a few times?”

“Many times.”

“Oh,” Delia sighed in relief. “We’re we lovers, Pats?”

“Yes, Delia,” Patsy gave her lover a small smile, “Yes, I’ve loved you for many years.”

Delia felt an ache in her heart that she could not explain. “I wish I could remember, Pats…” she lowered her head and tightened her hold on Patsy’s shoulder, “I’m so mad at myself that I can’t.”

“You will, one day,” Patsy tucked a lock of her lover’s hair behind her ear, “I know you will.”

Delia smiled and placed her hands on Patsy’s waist. “Can I kiss you again?” she asked softly.

Patsy smiled and closed the gap between them, loving the feeling of kissing Delia Busby again.

“Maybe I should cancel my date…” Delia breathed out and then laughed.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try dating men?” Patsy teased.

“No,” Delia shook her head and gasped as more memories jiggled into her brain. “I… I don’t fancy men,” she recalled.

“Do you remember fancying me?” Patsy asked hopefully.

“No,” Delia winced, “but I must fancy you a lot, because…” she dragged her gaze up and down Patsy’s figure.

Patsy blushed and then frowned when she realized Delia still couldn’t remember her.

“How long have we been together?” Delia asked.

“Just over four years.”

“So we were together when I was in training school…”

“Yes,” Patsy smiled, “Do you remember training school?”

“Yes, a bit, I was training to be a nurse.”

“You are a nurse!”

“Right,” Delia huffed, “I wish I could remember how to be a nurse.”

“You are an exceptional nurse, Delia. You could read a textbook once and have it memorized.”

“I had a good memory?”

“The best memory I know.”

“I can’t wait for it to come back.”

“It’ll take time.”

“I guess, until then, I’ll have to re-learn more and more about myself.”

“I’ll help...” Patsy smiled.

Delia mirrored the smile on Patsy’s lips and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you for being so good to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m glad past me chose you.”

Patsy smiled and kissed her woman again.

“Patsy…” Delia gazed up at the taller woman, “would you tell me more about us?”

Patsy looked down at Delia with warm eyes. Then they sat on Delia’s bed as Patsy revealed how they first met.

_~ The London Hospital, 1955 ~_

_“Nurse Winston, beds one through four… Nurse Mount, beds five through eight… Nurse McKay, beds nine through twelve…” the charge nurse, Nurse Dawes, read from her clipboard. “Oh, and we have a lot of students from the college this term…”_

_The floor nurses perked up with smiles of excitement. Having a student under their wing meant a much needed helping hand._

_“First years,” Nurse Dawes read off her memo._

_Frowns and groans replaced the smiles that graced the nurses a moment ago._

_“First years?” Nurse McKay huffed, “Why couldn’t they assign us pre-grads?”_

_“I agree with Nurse McKay,” Nurse Winston interjected. “We had first years last term. They’re awful! It takes me double the time to do my morning meds because they keep asking me the darnedest things!”_

_Patsy, who was a relatively new grad herself, did not comment. She was more nervous about teaching her student the right things than falling behind schedule. She was in their shoes only four short years ago, after all._

_“Alright, settle down, settle down,” Nurse Dawes waved her hand to dismiss the nurses’ fuss. “You were all first years at one point, I expect you all to be excellent mentors.”_

“Was I assigned to you?” Delia asked.

“No,” Patsy shook her head and chuckled, “No, I was assigned a girl called Bethany.”

“Bethany…” Delia furrowed her brows as a memory came back to her. “Dark hair, always in a braid?”

“Yes!” Patsy smiled with excitement, “Do you remember her?”

“A bit,” Delia nodded. “So who did I get?” she asked.

_“Delia… with Nurse McKay, Bethany... with Nurse Mount, and Sophia… with Nurse Winston.”_

_“Good morning,” Delia greeted her mentor with a big smile. Her cap was neatly folded, her shoes were white and spotless, and her school’s uniform was freshly pressed and ready for her first day._

_“I have three rules,” Nurse McKay said in a firm tone. “Rule number one, save all questions until after my explanations. Number two, do not play hero—if you do not think you can do something on your own, ask. The last thing you want is a preventable accident. Rule number three, which I’ve had to add because of the last batch of students last term, absolutely no talking during my med rounds. If I make a med error, it’s me that gets the full blame. Do I make myself clear?”_

_Delia quickly nodded her head._

_“Good...” Nurse McKay praised, “bed nine needs a bed bath.”_

_“On it,” Delia inhaled positivity and exhaled her nervousness. It was her first day on the floor and she wanted to make a good first impression._

_She walked into the supply closet and began gathering her materials. She gathered flannels, soap, and the rubber sheet in her arms. Then she furrowed her brows as she looked for the last thing she needed. The basins were nowhere to be found on the shelves at eye level, and there weren’t any on the shelves below._

_“What are you looking for?” a voice asked._

_“I’m afraid I can’t find the basins…” Delia admitted, still crouched over and looking at the bottom shelves._

_“Top right corner,” the voice instructed._

_Delia glanced up at the top shelf. She had to take a step back to get a better view. “You wouldn’t happen to have a step-ladder, would you?” she glanced at the source of the voice and saw the nurse the charge nurse had called Nurse Mount._

_Nurse Mount smirked. “Here…” she easily reached for the basin and gave it to the shorter woman. The big red cross on her apron indicated she was a student._

_“Thank you,” Delia said gratefully._

_“Is there anything else you need, Delia?” Patsy had remembered her name from the nurse assignments earlier. She even remembered that Delia was with Nurse McKay._

_“I think that’s all, thank you,” Delia smiled and headed out of the closet to tackle her first task of the day.  It was supposed to be easy, she had read it all in the textbook, which she had memorized with ease. But, as she drew the curtains around her patient, one thing dawned on her, which daunted her._

_“Are you alright?”_

_Delia was startled out of her trance and saw Nurse Mount, again. This time she was carrying supplies in her arms, appearing to get ready to give the man in bed eight a scrub-down._

_“Yes, I think,” Delia answered honestly._

_“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Patsy commented._

_Delia shook her head to clear her thoughts and forced a smile. She did not want to seem incompetent on her first day._

_“Is it Nurse McKay?” Patsy asked softly so no one else could hear. “She was my preceptor in my last year, I know she can be really tough on her students.”_

_“It’s not Nurse McKay...” Delia whispered back, “it’s…”_

_“What is it?” Patsy wondered._

_“I’ve never seen a man naked before.”_

_“Oh,” Patsy breathed out and then laughed. “I promise you, it’s a bigger deal to you than it is for them. They’ve had nurses scrub every inch of them since they got here, they’ll be just as glad to have it over with as you.”_

_“Right,” Delia nodded and readied herself._

_“Good luck...” Patsy added, “you’ll see more naked men than a brothel by the end of this term.”_

“I’m glad I don’t remember that...” Delia laughed, “all the naked men, I mean.”

“You see so many things on Male Surgical, the naked men are the least of your worries.”

Delia gave her roommate a small smile. “Did I ever get assigned to you?”

“Not until a few weeks later,” Patsy admitted. “You had lectures from Monday to Wednesday, and you were on the floor on Thursdays and Fridays. Our paths would only cross when I worked those days, and the students were assigned at random, so... I didn’t see you again for a long time.”

“Oh...” Delia frowned.

“But…” Patsy smiled, “the day finally came and you were randomly allocated to me.”

“I hope I was helpful,” Delia commented.

“You weren’t...” Patsy said honestly, “not at first.”

“What did I do?” Delia asked with widened eyes.

“You were very bright, I could see that...” Patsy admitted, “but you were still dependent on your textbook knowledge. You had yet to learn how to improvise...”

_Patsy was changing an abdominal dressing when the ward doctor approached her._

_“Nurse Mount, please tell your student not to give bed five a bladder infection,” he said sternly._

_Patsy turned around and saw Delia ambulating her post-op prostatectomy, and holding the urinary bag that was attached to his catheter._

_“I expected you to be a better teacher, considering your training is still fresh in your head, Nurse Mount,” he added._

_“Yes, doctor,” Patsy sighed and finished her dressing change before pulling Delia aside into the supply closet._

_“What is it?” Delia huffed, a little embarrassed that she was dragged through the ward in front of her peers._

_“Have you lost your marbles, Busby?” Patsy snapped. “You know better than to hold the bag so high above the ground, what were you thinking? That backflow of urine can really make him sick!”_

_“Doctor said to ambulate,” Delia spoke-up for herself, “I did not want the bag to drag across the floor like a mop.”_

_Patsy tipped her head towards the IV pole and said “Think, Busby...”_

_Delia looked at the pole and noticed the tape residue that marked the bottom half of the metal, where it appeared that previous bags had been taped on it._

_“Oh…” Delia sighed._

_“There’s a reason why I told you to carry tape in your apron pocket, Busby. Use it.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Delia blinked back her tears, “I guess I really wasn’t thinking.”_

_“You weren’t thinking beyond your training.”_

“I’m sorry I put you through that...” Delia said softly.

“It could have been worse.” Patsy admitted. “Plus, you started to get better.”

“I did?”

“Yes, you and I started practising…”

_“Patsy? Hey, Patsy! Wait up!”_

_Patsy turned her head in time to see the Welsh woman running down the back steps of the hospital._

_“Don’t sprain an ankle, Busby, I’m not going anywhere.”_

_“Good,” Delia huffed as she caught up to the other woman. “I wanted to say sorry, again, for what happened earlier-”_

_“No harm done...” Patsy reassured, “just don’t do it again.”_

_“I promise,” Delia vowed._

_“Have a safe walk home,” Patsy was about to bid her farewell when a soft hand grasped her forearm._

_“Patsy, would you be opposed to being my tutor?_

_Patsy paused in thought._

_“I don’t have much…” Delia continued, “but my parents send an allowance so I can pay you.”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous,” Patsy scoffed._

_“Then I can make you baked goods…”_

_“No, Delia, I don’t know why you want me to be your tutor. You’ve practically got your textbooks memorised.”_

_“Right…” Delia sighed, “but there’s so much more to nursing that a textbook can’t teach me.”_

_Patsy took a deep breath. “I suppose you’re right.”_

_“Oh say you’ll teach me, Patsy. I would ask Nurse McKay, but she’s busy.”_

_“Oh really?” Patsy smirked, knowing full well none of the nursing students got along with Nurse McKay._

_“Please,” Delia smiled._

“Then what?” Delia asked eagerly.

Patsy saw the time on the little clock on her bedside table and gave Delia a sad smile. “I’ll have to tell you tomorrow.”

“No...” Delia protested, “you were just getting to the good parts, you can’t leave me hanging!”

“But I shall!” Patsy stood and went into her dresser to get her pyjamas, “Or I won’t be able to function at work tomorrow morning.”

“Alright,” Delia sighed. When they were both dressed for the night and lying in their respective beds she asked, “Would you tell me more tomorrow night?”

“Of course,” Patsy promised.

“Good,” Delia gazed up at the ceiling and smiled, “because this is my favourite recollection yet.”

000

The next night, the story continued.

“It turned out, we lived in the same nurses home.”

“Really?” Delia tried to recall.

“I lived on the first floor, with all the other full fledged nurses who worked at The London, and you lived on the third floor, which they rented out to students at the college. Most students rent digs, but your parents insisted you lived at the nurses home… that’s what you’ve told me.”

“I can picture my parents doing that.”

“I shared my room with a nurse named Susan, so… I began to visit your room for our lessons…” Patsy recalled.

_Patsy taught Delia the tricks of the trade, practical skills they did not teach in the textbook. Patsy taught Delia the quickest way to locate pulse points on the first try, and how to complete a short but thorough head-to-toe assessment, and how to quickly landmark injection sites._

_That was the first time Patsy laid on Delia’s bed._

_She was teaching her how to landmark one’s ventrogluteal, so she laid on her side and let Delia place her hand on her hip to locate her muscle._

“We started to become friends,” Patsy recalled. “We ate lunches together, and gossiped about the other nurses… I really liked talking to you and I think, then, that you liked talking to me too. We always had a good laugh together.”

“But when did we become lovers?” Delia so desperately wanted to know.

“Well…” Patsy winced as she explained the rest of the story.

_“Can I offer you a drink?” Delia asked one night, after they had reviewed the atypical symptoms of appendicitis._

_“I didn’t think you were much of a drinker...” Patsy admitted._

_Delia smirked and revealed the bottle of American scotch and glasses that resided in her bedside table._

_“Only when there’s something to celebrate...” Delia replied, pouring their drinks._

_“And what exactly are we toasting to?” Patsy challenged as she took the glass that was offered to her._

_“Um…” Delia gazed up in thought, “to healthy appendices!”_

_Patsy laughed and tapped their glasses._

_Their chatter soon turned into a card game, and one drink soon turned into four, and as the hours passed, Patsy and Delia enjoyed their party for two._

“Then what happened?” Delia asked.

“We lost track of time, and our drinks, and we fell asleep on your bed.”

“Oh,” Delia smirked.

“It was the first time you fell asleep in my arms,” Patsy recalled.

Delia smiled.

“But I was terrified when I woke up,” Patsy admitted. “I knew the kind of woman I was, and I was scared you would figure out I like women and report me to my superiors. I didn’t want to lose my job, so I ran back to my room while you were still sleeping.”

“That’s horrible, Patsy, I would never…” Delia promised.

“I know that now, but I didn’t know if you would or not back then,” Patsy sighed.

_“Patsy!” Delia yelled when she saw her friend. She hadn’t seen her since the night they drank and played cars, and she ran after her in the stairwell. “Patsy, wait up!”_

_Patsy walked up the steps faster._

_“Patsy…” Delia caught up and grasped the woman’s arm. “Are you avoiding me?” she asked, offended._

_“No, I have to get going. If I don’t hang my IVs on time, Doctor Tracey will have my head.”_

_“Well, can you meet me in my room after work?”_

_“No.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“That’s not appropriate, Delia, you’re my student.”_

_Delia was taken back._

_“We should have kept our association professional to begin with,” Patsy said._

_“Association,” Delia scoffed, “Patsy, we’re friends!”_

_“We shouldn’t be. Like I said, you’re my student-”_

_“Hardly. And you’re only four years older than me.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Patsy turned around and walked away._

“It was too hard to be your friend,” Patsy admitted.

“Because you were scared I would report you?” Delia asked.

“No, because I already had _feelings_ for you…” Patsy breathed out, “and I didn’t know it until that night we played cards and you fell asleep on my arms.”

“So what happened after that?” Delia asked.

_They no longer ate lunch together, they no longer gossiped, they no longer talked and made each other laugh. Patsy tried to keep things professional. Delia tried to respect Patsy’s wishes. Patsy told herself it was for the best, and Delia remained baffled and confused as to why Patsy was suddenly so cold to her. She missed her._

_The remainder of term passed by them and soon Delia returned home to Wales for her Christmas holiday. Patsy stayed in London, with nowhere else to go, and spent Christmas and New Years working. She never stopped working. She hadn’t seen Delia in weeks, and on more than one occasion she was tempted to write her a letter and slip it under her door. She wanted to apologize for being so cold, for pushing her away, but Patsy felt that she had to protect herself and her career._

_Patsy was walking home after a night shift one night when she noticed a woman carrying 2 big bags and struggling to open the heavy door of the nurses home. Being her courteous self, she ran over and helped, only noticing it was Delia when she got to the door._

_“Pats…” Delia froze and gazed up at her friend._

_“Delia,” Patsy gulped._

_“It’s good to see you,” Delia blurted out softly._

_“Are you coming back from holidays?” Patsy asked._

_“Just got off the bus from Wales,” Delia nodded. “Did you have a happy New Year?”_

_“I supposed... I mean, I've been working almost every day.”_

_“Oh,” Delia sighed._

_“We should get inside, we’re letting the cold air in…”_

_“Right,” Delia nodded her head and walked into the nurses home. “Thank you for helping me with the door,” she added._

_“You’re welcome.” Patsy gave the woman a small smile and headed towards her room on the first floor._

_“Patsy...” Delia called out before she could get too far._

_“It was nice seeing you, Delia,” Patsy said before Delia could say anything else._

_“I miss you,” Delia said honestly._

_Patsy didn’t reply._

_“I’m sorry...” Delia added, “whatever I did to upset you so much, I’m sorry.”_

_Patsy sighed. “You didn’t do anything…” she reassured._

_“Then why won’t you talk to me?” Delia asked. “We got along so well…”_

_“I know,” Patsy winced._

_“If you’re going through something, you can tell me,” Delia wholeheartedly promised. “Whatever it is, I’m always here, if you need someone to talk to.”_

_Patsy lowered her gaze and sighed._

_“When you’re ready to talk...” Delia added, “my door is always open for you.”_

“Did you come back to my room?” Delia asked eagerly.

“No,” Patsy shook her head in denial. “It took me a whole week to gather up the courage and come up to your room again.”

“Did you burst through my door and profess your love?” Delia asked with a smirk.

“No,” Patsy laughed. “We sat down and you kept reassuring me that I could tell you, whatever it was, that I could tell you. So I finally did. I told you I liked women, the way I’m supposed to like men.”

“And?” Delia perked up.

“You said you didn’t look at me any different.”

“Oh,” Delia furrowed her brows. “Did I always like women?” she asked.

“I don’t think you had it completely figured out by then…” Patsy admitted. “You were always unimpressed by men, or so you’ve told me, but I don’t think you explicitly knew you were attracted to women.”

“Oh,” Delia furrowed her brows again.

“So we became friends again, after that…” Patsy continued, “you were assigned to the stroke ward the following term, but we started to have lunch together again. We went back to the way things were and I kept my feelings to myself.”

“When did you tell me you liked me?” Delia desperately wanted to know.

Patsy shook her head and pointed at the clock.

“Come on,” Delia whined.

“We can’t stay up all night, Deels. Plus, you don’t want me to rush that part of the story.”

“You’re a tease,” Delia rolled her eyes but complied.

“You actually love that about me,” Patsy admitted.

Delia stood up and invited herself onto Patsy’s bed.

“What are you doing?” Patsy wondered.

“I’m trying to see if this brings back some memories…” Delia slipped under Patsy’s covers and asked, “Were you big spoon or little spoon?”

“Depended on our mood,” Patsy laughed.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Little spoon,” Patsy smiled.

“Turn around,” Delia instructed.

Patsy turned around and hummed in satisfaction when Delia spooned her. “Anything?” she asked softly.

“No,” Delia sighed.

“Want to try being little spoon?” Patsy asked.

“Okay,” Delia agreed.

They changed positions and this time Patsy held Delia in her arms.

“I hate that I can’t remember,” Delia groaned. “I hate it!” she sat up and hit her head with the back of her hand.

“Delia...” Patsy stopped her lover, “it’s going to take time.”

“I feel like someone has stolen something valuable from me!” Delia huffed and tangled her fingers into her hair. “Everything is all mixed up and I don’t even know who I was!”

“Please don’t…” Patsy placed her hands on Delia’s, releasing the tight hold Delia had on her hair.

“How can I not remember _you_?” Delia huffed.

“I don’t know, Delia,” Patsy said softly. “Brain injuries are very unpredictable.”

“I wish I lost a limb instead...” Delia wanted to grip her hair again, but Patsy’s hands stopped her. "I don't know who I am."

“I do...” Patsy reassured, “and until you can remember, I’m going to stay right here and help you.”

“What if I don’t remember?”

“Then I’m going to be whatever you need me to be,” Patsy promised.

Delia took a deep breath and eyed the other woman. Patsy must have really loved her, if she was willing to stay with a lover who couldn’t remember her.

“But right now you need to rest,” Patsy ordered.

Delia lowered her head and picked at the material of her pyjamas. “This must be so hard for you…” she said softly.

“Not as hard as it must be for you,” Patsy admitted.

“You lost a partner.”

“She’s still here,” Patsy gave her a small smile, “I haven’t given up on her yet.”

Delia gave her friend a small smile. “Can I sleep beside you tonight?” she asked. “Would that be too strange? I just want to try...”

“Of course you can,” Patsy made room for the other woman and then spooned her with soft arms.

They slept on the same bed that night, Delia feeling safe in Patsy’s arms. She cursed herself for not remembering how much they were in love, but Patsy’s patience and determination eased some of Delia’s frustration.

000

The next morning Delia woke up beside Patsy. Patsy was already awake and appeared to be in deep thought.

“Did you sleep alright?” Delia asked.

Patsy simply nodded.

“Did you have enough room on the bed?”

“I did.”

“What are you thinking of?” Delia wondered.

“Not much,” Patsy admitted, “I was waiting for you to wake up.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I wanted to know if you remembered more after sleeping beside me”

Delia lowered her eyes and shook her head in denial.

“That’s okay,” Patsy sighed.

“I’m sorry, Patsy…”

“No need to be sorry, you tried…”

“I want to try harder,” Delia admitted. “Would you go on a date with me? Tonight, when you get home from work. Would that be okay with you?”

“I’ve never said no to a date with you before, I don’t plan to start now...” Patsy answered with a smirk. “Where are we going?”

“Where do we usually go?” Delia asked.

Patsy named a few places.

“What if we try something new?” Delia suggested.

Patsy smiled. “We can do that.”

000

Later that evening they ended up at an Indian restaurant on the west end of the London. They enjoyed their curries and walked off their food as they enjoyed each other’s company.

“Do you think I’ll remember all this again?” Delia asked.

“I think so.”

“I often lose my train of thought...” Delia admitted.

“But you’ve started to remember so much already,” Patsy encouraged.

“But why can I remember you?”

Patsy paused. “I don’t know.”

“You’re important to me, and I hate that I can’t remember you.”

“Maybe I’m not as important as you thought.”

“No, that’s impossible,” Delia scoffed. “I know you’re important, I feel it. I can feel it when we’re in the same room, I feel it when you touch me. You care a lot about me and I think I care a lot about you too.”

“I don’t know, Delia,” Patsy sighed. “I don’t,” she said sadly. Now she was starting to doubt if her Delia was going to come back.

000

When they got home that night, they got cleaned up, dressed, and settled on Patsy’s bed.

“I had a lovely time tonight,” Patsy said with a hint of sadness.

“Me too…” Delia smiled and pressed a kiss on Patsy’s lips.

“Good night,” Patsy whispered.

“Good night,” Delia smiled and rested her head on the pillow they shared.

But neither of them went to sleep just yet.

“Patsy…” Delia said after some time.

“Yes, Delia?”

“Have we… _you know_ …”

“Yes.”

“Was I any good?”

Patsy laughed.

“I guess not,” Delia winced.

“You were _very_ good,” Patsy reassured.

“I wish I could remember what to do,” Delia admitted.

Patsy arched her eyebrow.

“I want to do more than kiss you...” Delia breathed out.

Patsy smiled and tucked a lock of dark hair behind Delia’s ear.

“Unless you don’t want to,” Delia retreated.

“I do,” Patsy smiled, “But you still don’t remember who I am. It wouldn’t be right, to sleep with someone you don’t really know.”

“But I know you’re special to me, Patsy, and I may not remember what we were… but I know who you are now and I’ve fallen in love with you all over again.”

Patsy raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“I love you,” Delia said confidently. “My heart flutters when you come home and I can’t wait to see the look upon your face when you walk through the door, and I always wonder what the day will bring with you by my side. I love you, Patsy Mount. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Patsy smiled and leaned in to kiss her lover.

Delia hummed in satisfaction and felt the need to place a hand on Patsy’s hip. She held her close. Anticipating what to do next, but it all seemed to come naturally to her. She felt a familiar heat grow between them, and soon she took initiative and removed her shirt first, before helping Patsy remove hers. Her eyes were bewildered at the sight of Patsy Mount’s naked from the waist-up. Her hand reached for one of her breasts, but she retreated it with doubt.

Patsy took hold of Delia’s hand and guided it to her breast. She could feel Delia’s touch was different, she moved with more drive, much more than her Delia did before the accident. Holding Delia, skin-to-skin, felt familiar yet so new at the same time.

Delia gasped when Patsy placed her hand on her breast and gave the soft flesh a firm squeeze. Touching Patsy for the first time was blowing her mind.

“Can you show me what to do?” Delia whispered when she felt the urge to do more.

Patsy smirked and grasped the garter of Delia’s pyjamas.

“May I?”

Delia nodded and lifted her hips to let Patsy remove them. She felt strange, for a moment, being so exposed to her lover. But she felt safe with Patsy. Even if she couldn’t remember a lot about her, she always felt safe with her.

“Tell me if you want me to stop, alright?”

Delia nodded in compliance and watched Patsy crawl on top of her and straddle her bare hips. Patsy kissed her some more, kissed her lips, her jaw, her neck, across her collarbone, and eventually her nipples. Patsy took a soft nipple into her mouth and they both felt it harden.

“Oh…” Delia felt her arousal grow between her thighs.

Patsy continued to fondle with her lover’s skin and felt goosebumps rise from Delia’s flesh. She switched to give the other nipple some attention, and when she could hear Delia beginning to breathe heavily, she released her skin and began to kiss her way down towards the space between her legs.

Delia watched her lover part her folds, but she shut her eyes and gasped out loud when Patsy’s tongue began to circle her aching bud.

“Christ…” Delia grasped onto the headboard and arched her back. Patsy was making her feel oh so good. Delia then felt her sex squeeze around itself, aching for more. So much so that her lips naturally begged Patsy for what she wanted.

“In me,” she moaned.

Patsy took her cue and eased one and then two fingers inside her lover. Her mouth continued to suck and lick Delia’s clit, and her hand began to thrust into her.

Delia muffled her moans between her lips and arched her back when Patsy worked her up, higher and higher, until she reached her peak.

“PATS…” Delia gasped and held her breath as her sex squeezed in around Patsy’s fingers, and her thighs squeezed in around Patsy’s head.

Patsy watched her lover peak, and the sight made her own arousal grow between her thighs.

When Delia collapsed against the pillow, she gazed up at the heavens and cursed. What Patsy had just done to her body was a religious experience that no other earthly pleasure could compare.

“Are you alright?” Patsy asked softly, looking down at her lover and wiping arousal from her mouth with the back of her hand.

“I don’t think I will ever walk again,” Delia breathed out, still in a daze.

Patsy laughed and crawled closer to lay beside her.

“Where did you learn to do all that?” Delia teased.

“You,” Patsy answered seriously.

Delia raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I taught you how to do that?”

“I told you, you were very good,” Patsy chuckled and snuggled her lover’s side.

“Huh,” Delia smirked and flipped their position to please Patsy the same way Patsy had just pleased her.

000

The next day, Patsy and Delia were back at The London. Delia had yet another routine check-up, but this time she was told she could go back to work within a months’ time, if she continued to improve at the same rate.

After the appointment, the two of them decided to go for a walk around the old nurses home they used to live in. Half the building was already knocked down and under construction so they were forced to turn onto a different street and walk around the old building.

“You still haven’t told me the rest of our story,” Delia scolded as they walked.

“You’re right,” Patsy chuckled. “We got a little distracted last night.”

Delia smirked and blushed at the same time.

“It looks like it’s going to rain,” Patsy added as they walked further down the lane.

Delia suddenly thought she was experiencing dejavu. She thought she had heard Patsy say those words before. But she did, four years ago, when they were was walking home together from the hospital. On the same street, on a similarly cloudy day. Delia suddenly remembered the evening it started raining and they ran inside a telephone booth for shelter and share their first kiss.

Her memory thereafter flooded her head as if the dam that held them had broke. She remembered meeting Patsy on her first day on Male Surgical. She remembered Patsy coming into her room to teach her additional nursing skills. She remembered the night they played cards and slept in her bed. She remembered the days after when Patsy avoided her. She remembered the day she returned from her Christmas holiday and Patsy opened the door for her. She remembered when Patsy came out to her. She remembered when they became friends again. She remembered the days she had midterm examinations and Patsy helped her with her revisions. She remembered Patsy taking her to the cinema to celebrate the end of her examinations. She remembered somehow getting a hold of Patsy’s hand during the film and realizing she liked Patsy as more than a friend. She remembered keeping those feeling to herself for months, until she felt herself go so crazy in love that she decided to tell Patsy, on their walk home from the hospital, right before the rain came down on them. She remembered the first time they made love, a month later. She remembered going home to Wales for the summer and writing Patsy letters, longing for the day she would return to London. She remembered the day she graduated and the day she started working in The London as a float nurse. She remembered the day Patsy helped her move from the third floor of the nurses home to the first floor, with all of the other full-fledged nurses. She remembered finishing her probation period and transferring to work in the emergency department. She remembered being recruited by one of the paramedics to join the St. John’s Ambulance brigade. She remembered the day Patsy decided to train as a midwife and the day Patsy moved to Nonnatus to pursue midwifery. She remembered the strain in their relationship when Patsy no longer lived at the nurses home. She remembered their fight at the Silver Buckle. She remembered the day they signed their lease. She remembered cleaning their room, their indoor picnic, the ghastly jug that rested on the windowsill.

“Delia?” Patsy paused when she noticed Delia’s eyes staring blankly ahead of them. She feared Delia was having another seizure after going nearly six months without one.

“I remember this street, Patsy!” Delia laughed and a clap of thunder echoed her laughter. “I remember what happened here!” she said gleefully.

“You do?” Patsy smiled.

Delia nodded her head and blinked when raindrops began splattering on their skin. “I told you I liked you, and it started to rain, so we ran here…” she took Patsy by the hand and found shelter from the rain in the same old telephone booth.

“You remember!” Patsy grinned with excitement and relief.

“I remember,” Delia took hold of the other woman's collar—the woman who stood by her side through her entire recovery, the woman who she had fallen in love with all over again—and pulled her in for a kiss, just like she did all those years ago.


End file.
